10 June 2006

So I had heard about how terrible American soccer announcers were but I did not believe it until I heard it. They treat it like its a bloody basketball game, talking about size and athleticism like this is some sort of sport where muscle memory is all that counts. These people have no concept of the beautiful game and how it should be announced. Would it kill them to listen to a few Brit announced game. It is really bloody amatuer, and I mean high school.

Here is a list of the stupid mistakes they have made since the start of the England game;

1. Steven Gerrard - His last is pronounced Jair-ard not jur=ard. Watching a few matches of Premiership football would have alerted you to this fairly cursory fact.

2. Paul Robinson - plays his club soccer for Tottenham Hotspur not Chelsea.

3. England - are in fact the men in the white shirts and not Germany, he has made this mistake 3 times so far. Now this is just cursory and shows the level of amateur they have announcing the match

4. Through balls - Not every touch of the ball is a cross there are occasionally what we call through balls.

5. Seating Capacity - Please do not announce the fact that the stadium is at capacity, this is the world cup it is assumed that the event is sold out.

6. Colour Commentary - Stop for the love of God stop, no one cares about what Ashley Cole wanted to do professionally if he didn't play football. More to the point it doesn't matter this is the beautifull game there is enough on the pitch to talk about.

These announcers are amazingly amatuer and generally terrible. Just because you played on the American national team in 94 does not mean you are qualified to announce. Please for the love of God this is the World Cup and it is not acceptable to take your MLS announcers and port them over.

I just heard the following exchange between the announcers:

-it's hotter here today than it was yesterday how does that effect the play?
-well when it's hotter you sweat more and are exhausted easier

HOLY FUCK! In all of my years of watching the sport it had never occured to me that the hotter the temperature got the more exhausted one becomes easily. I'm watching this with the sound off for the rest of the game.

Wow that didn't take long they mentioned the war and managed to show Hitler. I am getting a satelite so I can watch the Canadian coverage


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